Me and Microsoft sam

It started on one fine morning when I decided that I was going to be a great writer( ok..ok..cool it.Now don't throw that on me please. it will only shatter your screen) one day and thought that I shouldn't be wasting my time typing away(what a lazy goose? and what a lame excuse).

So I fumbled with google and found a perfect software, the one I thought was just made for me.

It required me to download it and do all the blah..blah..blah.

Well, i did them all and happily settled down to get myself a hands free computer experience.

Geared up with state of art microphone headset, I sat before my laptop/pc.

I pulled up the newly installed software from the drive and started the warming up process.


It asked me several silly questions for which i giggled like a school kid and answered delightfully.


Then came the familiarization process.


It asked me to make myself familiar with the voice recognition. The first step was to practice giving voice commands to open and close windows.


"yeah right,,come on baby.." I whistled to myself and sat upright..


I had selected microsoft sam (
u might know that to be a popular automated male voice from microsoft) as my guide.
So the process started.

Sam:
"Ok.you are going to make a voice command now. After the beep please say..open doc. This will open a new ms word document."
.........beep.....

I:
"open doc.."

Sam:
"you said opne dec. Please say open doc."

I:
"o..p..e..n d..o..c"

Sam:
"you said..aoepen doaeke. Please say open doc."
this went on for a while..

Sam:
"please say open doc."

I:
(I finally got that my taminglish accent was too difficult for sam to catch.To think back few of my western friends commented me on having a very light accent or should I say slang? while speaking in english . Whatever, So with all my senses working together to get the damn thing right, i said) "open doc".

Sam:
"you said opin dark. please say open doc."

I:
"rightu.."

Sam:
"you said. right ugh..please say open doc."

I:
"ம்கும் இது மட்டும் கரெக்டா வருது "(this alone you got correctly).

Sam:
"you said mempjunk..idlepidle mutter karata ward huh. please say open doc.."
by now i was.

I :
"get lost you idiot "

Sam:
"you said, gat last your idiyurt.please say open doc.."

I:
"அட நாசமாப்போனவனே! அதத் தானடா நா அப்பலேர்ந்து சொல்றேன்.ஆணியே புடுங்க வேண்டாம். போய்த் தொல.."(you ### that is what I am telling you from the first. enough. get lost)"

Sam:
" you said, ad hock nasmap omnivan, adah antenna upwards soldering. onion put with am pork doll.please say open doc."

"ping.."

that was me shutting down the system.

"damaal"

me again, throwing away the nearest thing I could find and also my dream of voice operated ms word.


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