It all started on a fine Monday morning when we anxiously watched that little strip to turn color.

“Oh my god..oh my god..oh my god…” we both jumped up and down knowing that we are soon going to be Mom and Dad.

Ah..Do I have to tell you that feeling? the bliss that would make you feel on top of the world?

We giggled all morning and decided to have breakfast in Saravana Bhavan where we ordered that ghee dripping Rava Kesari.

I was elated. Totally…feeling the heavens, is the closest description I can give to the feeling I had right then.

It was time for office (we both worked in the same place) but I said I will take a detour and come back in an hour. I left for the nearby bookshop.

God what all they have for us ‘to be mom and dads’ in the stores?

Starting from ‘what to expect when you are expecting’ there were quite a number of titles there for sale. We both are orphans and so we never had a soul to help us in anything whatsoever except for our beloved friends.

But this is going to be huge. We needed all the help we can get in making it a perfect parenthood and why not get the advice from the experts?

I glanced through all the titles there and went to the cash counter with almost nine to ten books in hand.

The lady in the counter took one look raised an eyebrow at me and seeing me blush said
beaming ”Congratulations”

“Thank you” I smiled away shyly.

It had become a habit for me for months now.

People would take one look and smile which is synonymous to “congrats and take care”.

First trimester was the worst. Everything looked new. We had so many arguments too. Nausea and light headedness dominated most part of the days.

Second trimester:
Notable changes in me. Friends took one look at me and said “Damn you are losing weight and look anemic, which is not good at this stage you idiot. Take extra care”

Third trimester:
Worst yet. I was worried all day and night. All the books talked about emotional turbulence but nothing warned me to this stage. It was like sitting on top of the fuming
I was getting angry at everything
and wanted to cry for everything.

Last month:

I was getting anxious. Paranoid may be. Heart beat had become abnormal these days. Medic adviced me to be cool and that at this stage this is normal.

It was those days when I had to change the whole of my life pattern. I had to stop eating all those things I am very fond of. I was told not to sleep in my most favorite position. I was told several other things which looked totally impossible for me until that moment.

But I had to do it. Do it for that little thing which is going to paint our lives in rainbow colors.

Last few days…

I just couldn’t do any work. I was sweating all the time. I was scared to death but couldn’t show it to the outside world. I smiled my most happy smile all the while I had this windmill in full speed inside my heart.

We had made a routine to take slow walking around the temple pond near our house. Every evening after work we would go straight to the pond and start walking around it.

We would chat about our first meeting, our love, Proposal everything and used to wind up the time together happily.

I stuck to my better half like a sticky note on the counter because I was a little scared to spend my time alone in the house anymore. More paranoid thoughts had started to taunt me every day. everynight I woke up with a worst nightmare to tell. It was horrible those last few weeks physically and mentally.


It was a sunny Friday morning when we got ready to go to office. When I tried to go into the car the pain started.

It was… Oh I don’t even want to describe it. It was scary crazy for me. I wanted someone beside me. Anyone..just any damn human being to hold me tight and say it’s ok everything is going to be fine.

God knows how we reached the hospital which itself was a miracle. The pain had come a clear one week before the due date and I was pretty sure that it must be the false pain. But how naïve could I be? No it was not.

It was THE pain.

Well I’ll be damned.

I don’t remember the part where we went to the labor room and all that. All I heard was the doc's “push..push” sound.

For every contraction my heart skipped beating and seat swelled on my face.

Pain…pain too much pain… why do women have to endure this pain why can’t men share it a little? After all they are the life partners and better halves. Then why the hell can’t men share half of the physical pain?”

I can’t bear this anylonger dear lord, why do you have to make this birthing process this hard and painful in the first place?

To see how far we can go? What kind of sadistic God are you to make it like this. My fury had turned totally towards that little Murugan photo that hung on the wall.

I got a cold slap from my doctor for crying. Oh how the hell am I supposed to smile calmly while my soul is ripped apart in such pain and agony? The yowls and cries could have reached the heaven I am sure. But God was on leave I suppose. It looked like he didn’t hear the screams. The doc looked me in the eyes and said.

“No use…we need to go in for a surgery.”

“Surgery?” I couldn’t see her face clearly beneath the beads of sweat that clouded my eyes.

“did you just say surgery?”

“Yes has become compl..”That was all I heard. After that I had fainted. Someone slapped me again and again to get me into conscious. I was awake but still was hanging somewhere above.

“sister..get the theatre ready..pull her softly..” I could hear voices floating around me but I couldn’t really put my mind towards it. I was too tired and fatigue.

Local anesthesia was given. I couldn’t see anything but could hear it vaguely.

After my lifetime’s longest fifteen minutes had passed, I heard the sound.

A wail..a tiny wail..My world was turned topsy turvy in an instant. Tears welled up in my eyes and my heart was jumping out of its position. That little sound had the magic to make my world a walking heaven.

Suddenly the purpose of my life looked all clear. I felt wholesome. I felt full. I was too happy to be alive.

The doc came near me. I saw her and my heart raced further.

She came to me and said in a whisper. “It’s a girl”

“A girl? fairy princess…My little little pink heavenly daughter”

My heart was still racing and I steered it towards the doc. I had something else important to ask her.

“Is SHE alright?”

“ Perfect.”she smiled and told the nearby nurse “report..mother and baby weight…..”

I didn’t hear anymore. I had heard what i wanted to hear. I wanted to see my love right then. I wanted to share the happy news and wanted to know how it felt right then.

Someone just touched my arms. I turned to see a sister standing near me. She held the most precious thing of our lives in her hand.

I was looking at the tiny bundle that was coming near me. It came closer. It was gently put in my hand.

The prize given by god for our love.( I thanked God just then.)

A gift of love wrapped up in magical beauty.

The atom bomb of love..

I cried again.

I cried looking at the tiny baby yawning away its nine months sleep. I cried and smiled at the same time.

My friend came near me and shook my shoulders.


P.S: This is Labor pains- from a dad's point of view.

Plus sides of being plus size


  Plus size..

A very common
size (அப்படீன்னு நாமளே சொல்லிக்க வேண்டியது தான்) for Indian women these days.

Why? Well I am not a dietician to dissect the whats and whys of that million dollar question.

I am just another lazy mom, who every morning offer special pooja to all the gods of the world before facing a mirror.(உங்களுக்குத் தெரியாததா?) Imagine the poor husband.

I was never a petite woman. Since my adolescence I was this chubby little girl who then turned into a plump young girl who then turned into a bubbly woman(எப்படியெல்லாம் சமாளிக்க வேண்டியிருக்கு?). Now after two little rats I look like a blown up balloon waiting to burst. A balloon can at least fly.

One fine morning I was looking into my old snaps folder when a particular folder called for my attention. It was our honeymoon snaps folder. I happily opened it and was shocked.

What the hell? Who is that thin chick standing near my husband? (Remember I was on the plump side even before marriage).I got really bugged and started to dig all my old folders.

As I went backwards and backwards..It was like watching those before - after pictures of some famous slimming centers, only in reverse.

I showed them to my husband who looked at me like “And you didn’t notice this at all?”

That ended up to be another entertaining evening discussing my ‘balloon’ness (See how positive I am?) and finished it with a big family size pizza (one for each honey..)

One day one of my friends asked me “Aren’t you feeling bad about being a plus size woman?”

“Why should I be? I have lot of advantages on being a plus size woman.”

“What? You do? How?“ she was so surprised, poor thing.

“See ..Have you ever been given special attention in planes even when you are flying in economy class?”

“What? Nope..”

“I have. They always think that I am carrying.”

“Have you ever been treated like a queen in restaurants?”


“I have been. Because they think that I am one of those who live only to eat. We score big in their charts you know?”(மேடத்துக்கு எல்லாத்துலயும் ஒரு ப்லேட் வைடா)

“Ok.stop.. you think these are the plus sides? Let me ask you something. Don’t you feel uncomfortable walking around with heavy luggages, sorry I mean..”

“No problem. Message received. But that is where you have to see the bright side. Since you are already carrying your own big assets on your legs, you will not be asked to carry extra. You see my point? I never have been asked to carry big stuff anywhere.” I grinned.

“You are hopeless” she said and left. I don’t have to tell you that that was our last meeting.

As I was saying, being plus size does have plus sides, in a many ways.

Imagine you are a very petite woman who is going to buy jewels . It would take lesser grams of gold to make your bangles than mine and extra links for that necklace. Think about an ‘ottiyanam’ for my size? Gee ..definitely extra gold. So that goes into more investment of gold.

I have more..

If you go for this fun rides or giant wheels or even in bus and train you are always given a full seat just for you. Now that is something, isn’t it?

When I go to long boring sessions of meetings or functions I used to look around and see people looking for a place to rest their hands.

Well I got a built in hand cushion. Tummy acts as a fantastic cushion you know? Ask my kids for confirmation they use it as their portable pillow.

I always walk with heads up that gives me a very confident look, no looking down as a shy woman ( I can’t see the floor anyways. Why bother?)

Being big has a wonderful plus side in public.

Try walking in a little crowded space, people will try to move as far as from you (ரோட் ரோலர பாத்தா நாம ஒதுங்கி போறதில்ல? அப்படித்தான்) and thus give you more space.

I once went to this distant relative’s wedding and I had chosen to wear a perfect outfit. A silk saree and kaasu maalai.(சொர்ணாக்கா??)

I walked in the hall with heads up (தரை தான் தெரியலயே) and you wouldn’t believe me, people stood up to wish me and some even gave me a seat under the fan.

They thought I am some big shot in politics.(And that is something about the image of our politicians.)
This same incident happened in a even bigger function. In kavingnar vairamuthu’s birthday celebration you know how many big shots would come.

Even there I was considered someone special because of my size and stature.(just a positive perception)

Have you tried those water rides in theme parks where you slide on Styrofoam boards and surf along a curve?

I was always a record holder there since I can slide almost up to the end just because of my weight. I see those slim women who can’t even make it to the water.

If you let me go on, I will make one 'big' (
இதுலயுமா?)list on plus sides of being a plus size.But I do feel a little put off about my size at one point.

It is when I go to dress shops. I see this lovely dress and there won’t a XXL size in it.

I wonder what these designers have against us that they always design plain ugly stuff for plus size women and make these elegant things for thin women. Probably they are jealous of us who knows?

But I do overcome that somehow. Know how? I just go and splurge myself with the stylish outfits in maternity section. Seriously? Who cares?

My BIL has a theory on why more plus size or rather women with pot belly, bag belly, slob belly and various other interesting shaped bellies are there in India. In western countries they mostly wear pants with buttons. What do we wear? Salwars and sarees.

What happens? As we grow fatter and fatter, our belly balloons out and all we got to do is loosen up that damn rope.

That’s it. You keep going like this as long as there is enough rope and enough garment, but before we grow out of rope we change to new salwar with new measurement. (எப்படியெல்லாம் யோசிக்கிறாய்ங்கப்பா?)

There is a saying in Tamil – Those who are fat cannot be cunning.(
குண்டா இருக்கறவங்க மனசுல சூது வாதே இருக்காது. – எவனோ கும்பகர்ணன் சொன்னது போல. இருக்கட்டும் விடுங்க நமக்கு உதவுதுல்ல?)

With this philosophy I always have a happy face even with bulging size.

I don’t call myself a fat woman.

I call myself ‘Thick Madam’ (bless that soul who coined that word).

So, all Thick Madams out there.

Don’t feel bad because you are fat.
You are who you are, regardless of how you are.

Bring that childhood smile on your face and heart, you will fly like a feather in this world.

I am not trying to make a statement that 'being fat is good' and/or 'being thin is bad'.

It is just an attempt to make those poor souls in fat bodies to feel light and see the bright side of life - by attitude.

It is not possible to become thin and slim overnight(உடனடியா கில்லி வேணா ஆடலாம். ஒல்லி ஆக முடியுமா?) but while still staying in the bigger side, you need not kill yourself in self pity.

The Life is like an ice cream 

                                  enjoy it before it melts

(இதுல கூட திங்கிறத பத்தித் தான் தோணுது பாருங்க).

"It doesn't necessarily need a light body to enjoy the dance of life but a light mind."

- originally posted for Indusladies .
Pictures courtesy- google images 
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