It all started on a fine Monday morning when we anxiously watched that little strip to turn color.

“Oh my god..oh my god..oh my god…” we both jumped up and down knowing that we are soon going to be Mom and Dad.

Ah..Do I have to tell you that feeling? the bliss that would make you feel on top of the world?

We giggled all morning and decided to have breakfast in Saravana Bhavan where we ordered that ghee dripping Rava Kesari.

I was elated. Totally…feeling the heavens, is the closest description I can give to the feeling I had right then.

It was time for office (we both worked in the same place) but I said I will take a detour and come back in an hour. I left for the nearby bookshop.

God what all they have for us ‘to be mom and dads’ in the stores?

Starting from ‘what to expect when you are expecting’ there were quite a number of titles there for sale. We both are orphans and so we never had a soul to help us in anything whatsoever except for our beloved friends.

But this is going to be huge. We needed all the help we can get in making it a perfect parenthood and why not get the advice from the experts?

I glanced through all the titles there and went to the cash counter with almost nine to ten books in hand.

The lady in the counter took one look raised an eyebrow at me and seeing me blush said
beaming ”Congratulations”

“Thank you” I smiled away shyly.

It had become a habit for me for months now.

People would take one look and smile which is synonymous to “congrats and take care”.

First trimester was the worst. Everything looked new. We had so many arguments too. Nausea and light headedness dominated most part of the days.

Second trimester:
Notable changes in me. Friends took one look at me and said “Damn you are losing weight and look anemic, which is not good at this stage you idiot. Take extra care”

Third trimester:
Worst yet. I was worried all day and night. All the books talked about emotional turbulence but nothing warned me to this stage. It was like sitting on top of the fuming
I was getting angry at everything
and wanted to cry for everything.

Last month:

I was getting anxious. Paranoid may be. Heart beat had become abnormal these days. Medic adviced me to be cool and that at this stage this is normal.

It was those days when I had to change the whole of my life pattern. I had to stop eating all those things I am very fond of. I was told not to sleep in my most favorite position. I was told several other things which looked totally impossible for me until that moment.

But I had to do it. Do it for that little thing which is going to paint our lives in rainbow colors.

Last few days…

I just couldn’t do any work. I was sweating all the time. I was scared to death but couldn’t show it to the outside world. I smiled my most happy smile all the while I had this windmill in full speed inside my heart.

We had made a routine to take slow walking around the temple pond near our house. Every evening after work we would go straight to the pond and start walking around it.

We would chat about our first meeting, our love, Proposal everything and used to wind up the time together happily.

I stuck to my better half like a sticky note on the counter because I was a little scared to spend my time alone in the house anymore. More paranoid thoughts had started to taunt me every day. everynight I woke up with a worst nightmare to tell. It was horrible those last few weeks physically and mentally.


It was a sunny Friday morning when we got ready to go to office. When I tried to go into the car the pain started.

It was… Oh I don’t even want to describe it. It was scary crazy for me. I wanted someone beside me. Anyone..just any damn human being to hold me tight and say it’s ok everything is going to be fine.

God knows how we reached the hospital which itself was a miracle. The pain had come a clear one week before the due date and I was pretty sure that it must be the false pain. But how naïve could I be? No it was not.

It was THE pain.

Well I’ll be damned.

I don’t remember the part where we went to the labor room and all that. All I heard was the doc's “push..push” sound.

For every contraction my heart skipped beating and seat swelled on my face.

Pain…pain too much pain… why do women have to endure this pain why can’t men share it a little? After all they are the life partners and better halves. Then why the hell can’t men share half of the physical pain?”

I can’t bear this anylonger dear lord, why do you have to make this birthing process this hard and painful in the first place?

To see how far we can go? What kind of sadistic God are you to make it like this. My fury had turned totally towards that little Murugan photo that hung on the wall.

I got a cold slap from my doctor for crying. Oh how the hell am I supposed to smile calmly while my soul is ripped apart in such pain and agony? The yowls and cries could have reached the heaven I am sure. But God was on leave I suppose. It looked like he didn’t hear the screams. The doc looked me in the eyes and said.

“No use…we need to go in for a surgery.”

“Surgery?” I couldn’t see her face clearly beneath the beads of sweat that clouded my eyes.

“did you just say surgery?”

“Yes has become compl..”That was all I heard. After that I had fainted. Someone slapped me again and again to get me into conscious. I was awake but still was hanging somewhere above.

“sister..get the theatre ready..pull her softly..” I could hear voices floating around me but I couldn’t really put my mind towards it. I was too tired and fatigue.

Local anesthesia was given. I couldn’t see anything but could hear it vaguely.

After my lifetime’s longest fifteen minutes had passed, I heard the sound.

A wail..a tiny wail..My world was turned topsy turvy in an instant. Tears welled up in my eyes and my heart was jumping out of its position. That little sound had the magic to make my world a walking heaven.

Suddenly the purpose of my life looked all clear. I felt wholesome. I felt full. I was too happy to be alive.

The doc came near me. I saw her and my heart raced further.

She came to me and said in a whisper. “It’s a girl”

“A girl? fairy princess…My little little pink heavenly daughter”

My heart was still racing and I steered it towards the doc. I had something else important to ask her.

“Is SHE alright?”

“ Perfect.”she smiled and told the nearby nurse “report..mother and baby weight…..”

I didn’t hear anymore. I had heard what i wanted to hear. I wanted to see my love right then. I wanted to share the happy news and wanted to know how it felt right then.

Someone just touched my arms. I turned to see a sister standing near me. She held the most precious thing of our lives in her hand.

I was looking at the tiny bundle that was coming near me. It came closer. It was gently put in my hand.

The prize given by god for our love.( I thanked God just then.)

A gift of love wrapped up in magical beauty.

The atom bomb of love..

I cried again.

I cried looking at the tiny baby yawning away its nine months sleep. I cried and smiled at the same time.

My friend came near me and shook my shoulders.


P.S: This is Labor pains- from a dad's point of view.

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